Archive for the ‘New Day New Leaf’ Category

Take a Loving Look

Friday, January 4th, 2008

How we see our partners often depends more on how we are than how they are. Husbands and wives are not audience, but participant observers in each other’s life.

“Before we were married, my husband was a caring, energetic man.” A wife once told me. “He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off me. Since we’ve been married, he’s become a couch potato and watches ball games more than he watches me. He’s gone form stud to spud.”

“Very funny.” Answered the husband. “But have you looked at yourself lately? When we got married, you were beautiful. Now you wear that old robe. If I’ve gone from stud to spud, then you’ve gone from doll to drudge.”

This hurtful, infantile argument illustrates how spouses, instead of looking for love, may look for flaws. It is a way of seeing.

Author Judith Viorst once wrote, “Infatuation is when you think he’s as gorgeous as Robert Redford, as pure as Solzhenitsyn, as funny as Woody Allen, as athletic as Jimmy Connors, and as smart as Albert Einstein. Love is when you realize he’s as gorgeous as Woody Allen, as funny as Solzhenitsyn, as athletic as Albert Einstein, and nothing like Robert Redford in any category-but you’ll take him anyway.”

This law of lasting love instructs us to look with instead of for love

The World Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect

Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

Do you want to make everything complete? That’s a simple idea to each person. In fact, most of the time things that we take for granted don’t go as we wish.

Our life can’t be perfect. We hope to get excellent grades. We want to be top students. Every day, we try our best to listen to teachers carefully and follow their instructions. But we often don’t feel satisfied. We face new problems every day.

A patient eagerly expects to be healthy again, but a healthy man doesn’t care about that. A poor man will be very happy when he buys something cheap; a rich man can’t understand this.

Then, can things around us be perfect? No. For example, when you stare into the bright moon hanging in the deep sky, you may feel, how beautiful it is! The truth is that, the beauty of the moon is presented not only through its brightness. More importantly, it is incompleteness that inspires us imagination and deep thought. Assuming that our unlimited imagination and deep thoughts are seeds, we can say the moon’s incompleteness is the fertile soil that makes the seeds sprout and grow. Poor Sushi had sung in his famous poem:

In other words, if the moon did not wax and wane, we would find that it is not only complete but also ugly.

It is just the fragmentary part that makes things perfect. A man without any failures, in some sense, is a poor man. He can’t know the joys of hopefulness and the pains of struggle. When you read of Hamlet, who finally perished together with the venomous king, didn’t you sigh? When you found Chaste Tess’s ending could only be death, weren’t you shocked with grief? What moved you so greatly? It is the unperfected part.

Here is another story: Once, there is an incomplete circle, which rolled here and there to look for its missing part. Because the circle was not complete, it rolled very slowly. So it had enough time to talk with worms and enjoy the warm sunshine. Finally, its dream came true. However, as a completed circle, it rolls so fast that it can no longer talk with worms or have a rest in the lovely grass. When the circle realized it, it threw away the missing part that it had just found.

A wise man knows he ought to give up something at the right time. The person who gives up the dream he can’t realize is perfect; the person who values his experience of failure is perfect. Say no to perfection. The world doesn’t have to be perfect.
 

Education—a Means to an End

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

    Education is not an end, but a means to an end. In other words, we do not educate children only for the purpose of educating them; our purpose is to prepare them for life. As soon as we realize this fact, we will understand that it is very important to choose a good way of teaching children.

    In many modern countries it has for some time been fashionable to think that, by free education for all-whether rich or poor, clever or stupid, one can solve all the problems of society and build a perfect nation. But we can already see that free education for all is not enough: we find in such countries a far larger number of people with university degrees than there are jobs for them to fill. Because of their degree, they refused to do what they think is “low” work; and in fact, physical labor is thought to be dirty and shameful in such countries.nsu_1406.jpg    But we have to understand that the work of a completely uneducated farmer is more important than that of a professor in a way: we can live without education, but we die if we have no food. If no one cleaned our streets and took the rubbish away from our houses, we should get terrible diseases in our towns. In countries where there are no servants because nobody is willing to do such work, the professors have to waste their time doing housework.

    In fact, when we say that all of us must be educated to prepare us for life, it means that we must be educated in such a way that, firstly, each of us can do whatever job is suited to his brain and ability, and secondly, that we can realize that all jobs are necessary to society, and that it is very bad to be unwilling to do one’s work, or to laugh at someone else’s.

Everyday Is a Gift

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

My friend John opened the bottom drawer of his wife’s bureau and lifted out a gift box. This is not a normal hair accessory, this is a gift.” He said and opened the box, took a exquisite hair accessory.barrette.jpg

It was a crystal-coated, barrette, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. His wife was deeply impressed by such design at her sight with it.

John bought it to her as a gift at the first time they went to

China two years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion.

Well, I guess this is the occasion.

He took the barrette and put it on the bed with other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the barrette for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me, “don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you’re alive is a special occasion.”

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and performed to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to

California from the Midwestern town where her family lives. I thought about all things that she hadn’t seen or heard or done. I thought about all the things that she had done without realizing that they were special

I’m still thinking about his words, and they’ve changed the seeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I’m trying to recognize this moment now and cherish them.

I’m not “saving” anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special. Event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom…I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I took prosperous, I can shell out 100 dollars for a small bag of groceries without wincing. I’m not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in bank have noses that function as well as my party going friends.

冬季晚鍾節

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

在林肯郡的伯勒馬什村裏,有一塊地叫做“鍾繩地産”。根據當地的傳說,這個名字是因為一次險情的避免而得來的。據說事情發生在很久以前的17世紀,在一個漆黑的冬夜,有一位船長正駕船沿著這一段危險的海岸航行。突然他聽到了教堂的鍾聲。“如果我能聽到鍾聲,”船長推斷,“那真是太危險了:海岸應該是近在咫尺!”他迅速地調整了航向,從而救了自己也救了船。出於感激,不久他就在伯勒馬什買了一塊地産。他規定,出租這塊地的收入要用來專門維修、休養教堂的鍾繩,使教堂的鍾“永遠”都能發出助人的警報。6_051128022421.jpg

根據另一個不那麽動人的傳說,鎮裏的人不肯敲鍾,因為他們熱衷於搶劫失事船的殘骸。但是有一位牧師跑上了塔,敲響了鍾。他的英雄行為拯救了船,但他自己卻累死了。(據說後來滿懷感激之情的船長娶了牧師的女兒。)

不管怎麽說,在伯勒馬什,整個冬天水手的請求都得到尊重。從每年的1010日起,每天晚上8點“晚鍾”就會響。47日是敲鍾最後一天也就是說直到第二年的10月。

A Simple Touch

Monday, September 3rd, 2007

“Damn you, you never listen, do you?” Stella slammed the bedroom door and stormed down the hall.

“Bloody men, always think they’re right.” She ripped back the shower curtain, wrenched open the shower taps, stepped into the tub. At the top of her lungs, she belted one chorus after another Mozart’s Voi Che Sapete…

The bathroom door opened quietly and Dennis entered the hot steamy room. He waited. Stella stomped her feet with every word she sang.

The tub rang out in protest.

Steel curtain rings screamed across the metal rod as Stella shoved the dripping curtain aside. She lunged out of the tub, gabbed a towel……

Dennis reached out and lightly touched her naked arm. Stella screamed. He moved closer and pulled her hot, soft, wet body into a hug. Felt her heart pounding fast.

“I’m sorry. Let’s not fight. I was wrong and you……”

Stella pulled back slightly.

“……were right.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

In the sudden stillness, there’re was only the breath of two people in love.

Half a Sheet of Paper

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

The last moving van had gone; the tenant, a young man with mourning band around his hat, wandered through the empty rooms to see if anything had been left behind. No, nothing had been forgotten, nothing. He went out into the corridor, determined never to think again of all he had passed through in this apartment. But there, on the wall, near the telephone, was a slip of paper covered with writing. The entries were in several handwriting; some quite legible, in black ink; some pencil scrawls in black and red and blue. There stood recorded the whole beautiful romance that had been lived in the short space of two years. All that he had resolved to forget was written there—a bit of human history on half a sheet of paper.

He took the sheet down. It was a piece of sun-yellow scratch paper that casts a sheen. He laid it on the mantel of the fireplace in the living room, and bending over, he began to read.

First stood her name

Alice—the most beautiful name he knew, because it was the name of his sweetheart. Beside it was a number, 1511—it looked like a chant number on the hymn board in church.

Underneath was scribbled: The Bank. It was there his work lay, the scared work which for him meant bread, home, family—the foundations of life, A heavy black line had been drawn across the number, for the bank had failed, and he had been taken on at another, after a short period of much anxiety.

The followed the livery stable and the florist— He was when they were engaged, and he had a pocketful money.

The office furniture dealer— The interior designer—They furnish their apartment. Express Bureau—They are newly married and go to the opera on Sunday evenings. Their most delightful hours are those spent there, sitting quietly, while their hearts commune in the beauty and harmony of the fairyland on the other side of the footlights.

Here followed the name of a man (crossed out), a friend who had risen high, but who fell—dazzled by prosperity—fell irremediably, and had to flee the country. So ephemeral is that will-o’-the-wisp, success!

Now something new came into the lives of the couple. Entered with a pencil in a woman’s hand stands The sister. What sister? Ah! The one with long gray cloak and the sweet with sympathetic face, who comes so softly and never goes through the drawing room, but takes the corridor way to the bedroom. Below her name is written: Dr. L—

Here first appeared on the list a relative—Mother. That is his mother-in-law, who had discreetly kept away so as not to disturb, and comes gladly, since she is needed.

Then came some entries in red and blue pencil. Employment Agency. The maid has left, and a new one must be engaged. The Apothecary—H-m! It begins to look dark. The dairy—Milk is ordered, sterilized milk. The grocer, the butcher, and others. The household affairs are being conducted by telephone. The mistress of the house is not at her usual post? No. She is confined to her bed.

That which followed he could not read, for it grew dim before his eyes, as it must for the drowning man at sea who would look through salt water. But there is stood recorded, in plain, black letters: The undertaker.

That tells enough!—a large and a smaller casket. And in parenthesis was written: Of dust.”

There was nothing more. It ended in dust, the way of all flesh.

He took up the sun-yellow paper, kissed it, folded it carefully, and put it in his breast pocket.

In two minutes he had relived two years of his life.

But he was not bowed down as he walked out. On the contrary, he carried his head high, like a proud and happy man, for he knew that to him it had given to hold for a little the best that life can bestow on man. How many there were, alas! Who had not had this.

Relative link for Interior Design 

Meet Parents

Thursday, August 9th, 2007

wedding-picuture3.jpgIt’s gonna be some day in a father’s life when he’ll have to accept that his little girl is not little anymore. This happens from the daughter starts getting to know boys and dating them. A funny traditional custom in

China is that when a young girl becomes a teenager, boys who wish to see her would have to pass daddy’s interviews.Most of the time, these interview exercises are fun for both father and daughter, Take for the movie” Meeting the Parents” for example. The girl’s dad always says to the guy: “I’m keeping an eye on you”. This example illustrates the role of the father in his daughter’s life as her protector and provider. A lot of young men would be intimidated at this sort of thing. Because of this, some give up in the first round and immediately, some try to hold their cool, and also there are some that really pursue his daughter. Only those who pass daddy’s little interview can move on to the next round.As a young daughter grows, it’s the father’s job to guide her on how to handle men. A young girl who easily becomes interested in boys is dominating to their schemes. This makes a mess of things. This is why it is critical that a father knows how to balance discipline and affection for his daughter. If either of the two is not enough, the child will most likely go astray.The more people a person gets to know, the more well rounded he or she becomes of the outside world. In the case of the young daughter, the more boys she meets and tames, the smarter she becomes. Eventually, the morals instilled by the father will be enough for her to be able to protect herself from those who might wish to take advantage of her. Though the father will continue to provide for her, her preference of her life partner will be refined more as time goes by. People say that love is never enough for people to get married. This is a smart philosophy to live by, considering that living on your own requires that you would be able to provide for your own needs. Getting married doesn’t simply mean living together with someone; it also means that you would have to consider raising a family of your own someday. Eventually, the father becomes too old to take care of his daughter, his only goal for daughter is she finds a man and be took care of in her future.What does a father think on his daughter’s wedding day? It’s how his little girl grew up, of course.